Author: torvidas

 

Today, and in the next couple of monthly blogs I’ll be writing about the subject of addictions, and how to accept and overcome them!

I’m going to focus on the 7th chapter of the book The Deepest Acceptance [Radical Awakening in Ordinary Life] by a guy named Jeff Foster.

But first, what is addiction? The Metaphysical meaning of addiction is: “A diseased condition brought about by one who, thirsting for the true stimulation of Spirit, resorts to the excessive use of false stimulants, such as alcoholic beverages. The way to demonstrate over this condition is to turn wholeheartedly to Spirit and to realize and to affirm that the desire for false stimulants is dissolved and dissipated and that the pure spiritual life of Christ satisfies and uplifts.”

The dictionary defines addiction as: “A compulsive, chronic, physiological or psychological need for a habit-forming substance, behavior, or activity having harmful physical, psychological, or social effects and typically causing well-defined symptoms (such as anxiety, irritability, tremors, or nausea) upon withdrawal or abstinence: a strong inclination to do, use, or indulge in something; a dependence or habit.

Here’s a little story about habits – bad habits.

A Catholic priest, a Baptist pastor, a Unity minister, and an Anglican rector were attending an ecumenical conference. After the meetings were done and having finished eating their supper, they were relaxing in the hotel restaurant, talking.

The Unity Minister said, “You know, it’s great to get to know one another’s theology across sectarian boundaries like this. But I think it would be even better if we shared some of our human side. Don’t any of you have any bad habits or addictions? You know, confession is good for the soul, and we’d surely build mutual tolerance, knowing what faults we all share. How about it?”

The Catholic Priest said, “I’d have to say that that’s a fine idea. I’ve been carrying a burden for a long time, and I’d be glad to finally get it off my heart. You see, friends, I’m an alcoholic. I’ve got a flask of communion wine in every jacket and gown I have. I can’t tell you the number of baptisms, weddings, funerals, counseling sessions and masses that I’ve skipped because I was absolutely plastered!”

The Anglican Rector nodded gravely and said, “Well, that can’t be worse than me. I’m a terrible adulterer. I’m completely out of control! If a woman in my parish can fog a mirror, I’ll come on to her. I’ve got the back door keys to half the homes in my congregation, and my office couch folds out into a bed.”

The Baptist Pastor heaved a sigh, and said, “I’m afraid I’ve got that beat. I’m a terrible embezzler. I’m no good with money; and I’ve got a taste for high living that my salary can’t satisfy. Each church I’ve served at could have paid down their mortgage like you wouldn’t believe, if not for me and my spendthrift ways. What a hypocrite I’ve been, brow-beating my hard-working parishioners to pledge more each year, while I spent their gifts hand over fist!”

The Unity Minister steepled her fingers and bowed her head. She said nothing. Presently one of the others said, “Well? Don’t you have any skeletons to share?”

The Minister shrugged and looked up. “Well, I think you should know” she said, “I have a serious gossip addiction.”

Now, we human beings seem to be able to become addicted to pretty much anything. We become addicted to recreational drugs, cigarettes, alcohol, gambling or gaming as it’s called now, painkillers, sex, shopping, the Internet, computer and video games, sugar, TV, extreme and dangerous sports, binge eating, porn, chocolate, relationships, Facebook or Twitter.

We even get addicted to spirituality, with nonstop reading of spiritual books or following gurus, attending endless retreats or spending weeks at ashrams. How about addiction to work, gossip, status, prestige, duty or security, power, fame. They even have a term for connectivity or social media addiction. They call it FOMO – fear of missing out.

 

Stay tuned for next month’s blog about ADDICTIONS.

 

NAMASTE and SAWUBONA. Keep manifesting only good things 🙂

Tony

 

If interested in getting a free copy of my mini e-book –  click here.

 

Today I’m continuing my blog about curiosity. In this final part I’m once again writing about how curiosity leads to wonder, and then how it often creates happiness and joy.

You have likely heard the story about John Lennon of the Beatles, who as a little boy, when asked by his teacher what he wanted to be when he grew up, answered “happy”. When the teacher told him that he didn’t understand the assignment, he explained that she did not understand life. You see, John’s mother always told him that happiness was the key to life.

Now, do happiness and joy mean the same thing? Many of us use those terms almost interchangeably.

Psychologies Magazine says:

“Joy and happiness are wonderful feelings to experience, but are very different. Joy is more consistent and is cultivated internally. It comes when you make peace with who you are, why you are and how you are, whereas happiness tends to be externally triggered and is based on other people, things, places, thoughts and events. Aiming for joy is more beneficial, as it is less transitory than happiness and is not tied to external circumstances.”

Rev. Dr. Christopher Benek tell us more about that:

“Joy is caused by elation at a moment in time. Joy may not always be about oneself but be about others’ contentment also. Happiness is about the self’s pleasure. Happiness may dwell on materialistic, worldly pleasure while joy is derived from soul satisfying, emotional wellbeing. We feel joy when we are spiritually connected to God.”

So, what does that have to do with curiosity?

Dr. Todd Kashdan is a professor of psychology at George Mason University. In Experience Life magazine he wrote:

“One of the most reliable and overlooked keys to happiness is cultivating and exercising our innate sense of curiosity. That’s because curiosity — a state of active interest or genuinely wanting to know more about something — creates an openness to unfamiliar experiences, laying the groundwork for greater opportunities to experience discovery, joy and delight.

Curiosity is something that can be nurtured and developed. With practice, we can harness the power of curiosity to transform everyday tasks into interesting and enjoyable experiences. We can also use curiosity to intentionally create wonder, intrigue and play, out of almost any situation or interaction we encounter.

Curiosity, at its core, is all about noticing and being drawn to things we find interesting. It’s about recognizing and seizing the pleasures that novel experiences offer us, and finding novelty and meaning even in experiences that are familiar.

Research suggests that experiencing novelty is an important factor in both health and happiness. Opportunities for novelty exist virtually everywhere, but to discover and make the most of them, we need to develop our “curiosity muscle” through more regular and intense use.”

So, would you like be a “Curious Explorer” with me this week? Exploring how to develop your curiosity muscle? Here’s what Dr. Kashdan recommends that we do:

1. Try to notice little details of your daily routine that you never really noticed before.
2. When talking to people, try to remain open to whatever transpires without judgement.
3. Let novelty unfold and resist the temptation to control the flow.
4. Gently allow your attention to be guided by your 5 basic physical senses. Be attentive to the smell, taste, feel, look, and sound of whatever comes your way.

Let’s take a look at what Woman’s Day magazine says-

“Curiosity may have killed the cat, but it turns out it’s great for humans. Recent studies have linked it with a range of benefits, including creativity, healthy work habits and life satisfaction. “Exploratory curiosity” was one of the character strengths that predicts positive mood and self-esteem, and curiosity was connected to a greater sense of hope and life purpose:

Curiosity is a link to a more joyful life, explains Associate Professor Dr Maria Kangas. “…be present in the moment”. She says. “Stop, look around, remove all distractions and just…see. You’ll be amazed how quickly the things you thought you knew all too well suddenly begin to seem strange and wonderful and new.”

So, starting right now, let’s make sure that we cultivate the gift of curiosity; that we look at life with a sense of wonder; that we live in a constant state of blissful joy. Let’s be like little children, frolicking in the kingdom of heaven. Or like a curious cat who tell us that: The joy of living wells up within us… as we touch the divine in thought and feeling.

NAMASTE and SAWUBONA. Keep manifesting only good things 
Tony

If interested in getting a free copy of my mini e-book  click here

 

Today I’m continuing my blog about curiosity, about how it leads to wonder, and then how it often creates happiness and joy.

Remember when you were a kid, in your innocence and naivety, looking at life with a sense of wonder.

I guess that I was about 4 when I decided to satisfy my curiosity about what would happen if I stuck a pair scissors into an electrical outlet. Talk about shock therapy. Was there wonder? More surprise than wonder actually. Any Joy?  – No way José. And my mother knew what had happened. She saw the black and melted end of the scissors blade that I had inserted.

A couple of year later when I was about 6, on my way to St. Peter and Paul Catholic School after lunch one day, I decided to find out what was inside of Olivet United Church that I passed on the way to and from school every day. As I crept up the centre isle I heard a voice – “can I help you young man?”. It was the Minister, but I thought it was the devil himself speaking to me, and I raced out of the building as quickly as I could. Instead of wonder and joy it was absolute terror that I experienced. By the way, I didn’t step into another Protestant Church again until I met my future wife, and we were married in, of all places, Central United Church in Welland Ontario.

Then, when I was about 8, I think, I was very curious about how my father’s watch worked. I managed to pry off the back and remove the inner workings. It was wonderful. When I put everything back together there were a couple of small pieces left over. No big deal I thought. Well, my dad knew it was me who had worked on his watch, after he took it into a repair shop and was told why it had stopped ticking.  And there was little joy in the spanking that I received.

At age 10, on my uncle’s farm, my older cousin Betty and I decided to go for a walk in the woods and check out the neighbor’s property. We came upon a clearing – full of wildflowers and a little stream gurgling over some rocks. We called it wonderland. It was amazing. It was truly joyful!

Then 6 years ago, on a beautiful sunny Mother’s Day, my wife and I rode my motorcycle out of London where we were living, to Port Stanley, on Lake Erie. After lunch at a local beach bar, I suggested we check out the blue townhouse condos up on the bluff. Just out of curiosity. To see if there was anything for sale. Well, wonder of wonders, miracle of miracles, there was an end unit available, on the lakeside, next to the pool. A few weeks later, it was our retirement haven. Every morning since then I have joyfully looked out at that lake and silently thanked the Universe.

So no, while it does not always happen that curiosity is followed by wonder and in turn, by joy: It very often is.

Joy is defined as a feeling of great pleasure. The emotion of great delight or happiness caused by something exceptionally good or satisfying.

Metaphysically speaking the meaning of joy is:

The happiness of God expressed through His perfect idea—man [and woman if I may add]. Joy and gladness are strength-giving, especially if the mind is fixed on the things of Spirit.

In the Teachings of Abraham we are told that

“The greatest gift you can ever give another person is your own happiness. You are joy, looking for a way to express. It’s not just that your purpose is joy, it is that you are joy. You are love and joy and freedom and clarity expressing.”

I have a special morning routine that I follow pretty well every day. One of the steps is restating my life purpose. Want to know what it is?

Her are the first few lines:

“IT IS MY MISSION AND LIFE PURPOSE:

This time ‘round

To have fun and to be happy

To experience joy and savor the succulent sweetness of life,

To row my boat gently down the stream

To float in the direction of my dreams

To drift with the current of the Divine”

And so on.

What’s your purpose may I ask? Happiness and Joy, I hope.

 

Stay tuned for next month’s blog about CURIOSITY.

NAMASTE and SAWUBONA. Keep manifesting only good things 
Tony

If interested in getting a free copy of my mini e-book  click here

 

Today, and in the next couple of monthly blogs I’ll be writing about the subject of curiosity. About how curiosity leads to wonder, and how it then often creates happiness and joy in our lives.

The dictionary definition of Curiosity is: a strong desire to know or learn something.

Michael Jamison, writing for Unity.org notes that “Curiosity killed the cat, and then adds…but satisfaction brought it back!!” He then says:

“As this early 20th-century saying implies, an enlivening satisfaction can be had by satisfying curiosity. The abbreviated warning “Curiosity killed the cat” probably never stifled curiosity, because the truth is that curiosity motivated the cat just as curiosity motivates people, What holds some people back from satisfying their curiosity is a fear of the unknown. Yet curiosity has empowered explorers of every kind.”

Spirituality for Dummies tells us that:

“Curiosity is the basis of all true learning, so it makes sense that you need it for mindfulness, for your meditation practice. Einstein was a master of curiosity. He thought curiosity is an essential part of a fulfilling life. Einstein is quoted as saying: ‘The important thing is not to stop questioning. Curiosity has its own reason for existing. One cannot help but be in awe when he contemplates the mysteries of eternity, of life, of the marvelous structure of reality. It is enough if one tries merely to comprehend a little of this mystery every day. Never lose a holy curiosity.’

Through Curiosity, we have the opportunity to discover new things about mundane, everyday experiences that we might normally take for granted.”

James Dillet Freeman, in his book, The Household of Faith writes:

“Charles Fillmore, co-founder of Unity was born with a curious and capable mind that was intended to inquire into Truth and into the nature of many things. His was a mind on fire to know the Truth, and he sought for it everywhere. In many ways he was like a little boy in his excitement, curiosity, and wonderment.”

Now a sense of wonder or wonderment is a feeling of surprise mingled with admiration, caused by something beautiful, unexpected, unfamiliar, or inexplicable.

Let’s see what Unity’s Daily Word says about wonder.

“Life is a wonder to behold. Matthew, chapter 18 verse 3, tells us we will never enter the kingdom of heaven unless we become like little children, cautioning those who have lost their sense of wonder to embrace it once again. Children see all things through new eyes. Free from pretense, they share their love openly and enthusiastically, innately understanding that the gift of being alive is a miracle to be cherished.

When I choose to see life through that lens, the kingdom of heaven is where I live, and everything changes. My relationships take on new vibrancy. From the smallest grain of sand to the most majestic mountain, the world is made of innumerable miracles. Each day, I take time to see life through the wonder of a child.”

By the way, it’s not only in the Gospel of Matthew that we read that the child is a symbol of eager interest, and great curiosity – characteristics which we all need to emulate in order to experience what has been called “the kingdom”. It’s also what Jesus of Nazareth apparently said according to the Gospels by Luke and Mark as well.  “Verily I say unto you, whosoever shall not receive the kingdom of God as a little child, he shall in no wise enter therein”.

Let’s read some more from The Household of Faith:

“In the spring of 1886, Charles Fillmore and his wife Myrtle went to a lecture in Kansas City put on by Doctor E. B. Weeks. It was out of curiosity and need that they went. Doctor Weeks had been sent from Chicago as a representative of the Illinois Metaphysical College to deliver a series of talks on a subject that was then being referred to by such names as “New Thought,” and “Christian or Divine Science,”. Charles came away from that lecture feeling no different than when he had gone in, but the woman who walked out of the hall on his arm was not the same woman who had entered it. A new, a different, a liberating, a transforming conviction was blazing in her heart and mind.”

You see, Myrtle was filled with joy and wonder, and it was the first step in her journey of healing. Thank goodness for curiosity. And the resulting wonder and joy.

 

Stay tuned for next month’s blog about CURIOSITY.

NAMASTE and SAWUBONA. Keep manifesting only good things 🙂
Tony

If interested in getting a free copy of my mini e-book  click here

 

This month’s blog is a continuation of the one from last month. It’s about the book “You are a Badass” by Jen Sincero

I was once referred to as a badass by a co-worker. Actually, what he really said was that I was a “pain in the ass”. Now to some degree I have always been a bit of a troublemaker, rebel, and black sheep of the family. When I asked my brother if I was a badass, he said no – you are an “asshole”, and an oddball. My daughters admitted that I used to be a bit of a badass, but now I’m just an “old ass”. 

I always thought of myself as somewhat of a badass – I ride a motorcycle, have a tattoo [albeit a very small and conservative one] and I wear an earring [also very small and conservative – a gift from my wife]. Always wanted to be a rock star, and I play a wicked air guitar. I’ve also stepped away from both the culture and religion in which I was raised. I’ve released a lot of preconceived notions and self-sabotaging limiting beliefs, ingrained biases and prejudices, emotional blocks, bad habits and false paradigms.

You have as well- RIGHT?  Or you wouldn’t be reading this! You have, to a large degree, stopped doubting your greatness and started living an awesome life, just like Jen says in the title of her book.

So, what prompted Jen to write “You are a Badass” and how did she “find” herself?

She first tells us that what little she knew about the self-help/spiritual world she found to be unforgivably cheesy: it reeked of desperation, rah-rah churchiness and unwanted hugs from unappealing strangers.

Her journey was a process [and it still is, she says] that started with her decision to make some serious changes in her life, regardless of what she had to do to make them. None of the things she’d already tried were working. So, she went all out, and learned some of the basic concepts that totally changed her life. Her learnings from a life of struggle and indecision helped her to find her way and to then teach others to do the same.

Sincero starts the book out by saying that she is going to ask us to do some “out-there things” when we read it, and that we have to stay open. Well, those things aren’t nearly as far out as she thinks they are – at least not for those of you reading this.

Want to know more? Then go to my videotaped message on the final phase of “Are You a Badass?”. CLICK HERE. Done in 2022 on Zoom.

Keep manifesting only good things 🙂 
Tony

If interested in getting a free copy of my mini e-book and subscribing to my e-mailing list click here

 

Now, be honest. Did or does the term badass make you feel the least bit uncomfortable? Maybe you’re feeling somewhat judgmental. Are you? The term badass is sometimes considered vulgar, and some may take offence at its usage in conversation, especially when in public or in polite company.

 

What’s the dictionary definition of the word? No -it’s not an incorrigible donkey. It’s slang term, and it’s also 2-fold- It can either have a negative connotation: Badass- A belligerent, troublesome or mean person; a person with an unpleasantly extreme appearance, attitudes, or behavior.

Or a positive connotation: Badass- Someone having an extreme appearance, attitude, or behavior that is considered admirable. A person who is thought of as impressive due to courage, skill, and/or toughness. Awesome, cool, wicked.

 So, are you a badass? In the best sense of the word?

I based this and next month’s blog on the book “You are a BADASS” – “How to stop doubting your greatness and start living an awesome life” by Jen Sincero. Jen is a 57-year-old #1 New York Times bestselling author, success coach and motivational cattle prod who’s helped countless people transform their personal and professional lives through her products, speaking engagements, newsletters, seminars and books. She’s also a former rock singer. Her book, “You Are a Badass®, initially published in 2013, has sold over three million copies, is available in over 35 languages, continues to grow in popularity around the globe and has been on the New York Times bestseller list for over 4 years and counting.

Let’s look at The N.Y. Times’ review of the book. “In this refreshingly entertaining how-to guide, author and world-traveling success coach, Jen Sincero, serves up 27 bite-sized chapters full of hilariously inspiring stories, sage advice, easy exercises, and the occasional swear word. If you’re ready to make some serious changes around here, You Are a Badass will:

• help you Identify and change the self-sabotaging beliefs and behaviors that stop you from getting what you want,
• help you blast past your fears so you can take big, exciting risks,
• help you figure out how to make some damn money already,
• help you learn to love yourself and others, set big goals and reach them

It will basically show you how to create a life you totally love, and how to create it NOW.”

 As Indigo says in its overview of the book – “By the end of You Are a Badass, you’ll understand why you are how you are, how to love what you can’t change, how to change what you don’t love, and how to use The Force to kick some serious ass.”

 Now, sometimes a book, video, quote or song comes into your life just when you need it or when it will do you or someone you care about some good. Well, this one did. For me anyway. It’s funny, it’s irreverent, it’s inspirational, and it talks about stuff you and I need to know, if we don’t already.

What is that stuff? Check out next month’s blog as we talk further about “Are You a Badass?”

Keep manifesting only good things 🙂 
Tony

If interested in getting a free copy of my mini e-book and subscribing to my e-mailing list click here